I noticed today that the Megabucks jackpot is worth 5.2 million dollars...I may buy a lottery ticket. Think of all the cool things I could do with that much money....
~ Use the money to buy Canada.
~ Find a cure for AIDS, or at least develop a treatment for hemorrhoids that doesn't require you to jam a bunch of cream up your rectum.
~ Live Ted Nugent's dream: buy the Muzak Corporation and then fold the company so no one will be subjected to annoying background music in elevators or doctor's offices.
~ Pay Aerosmith to never make another album again.
~ Purchase large tracks of land in China and then donate them to Tibet.
~ Buy up every television satellite in orbit and then shoot them out of the sky.
~ Take out a contract on the creator of The Sopranos.
~ Donate the money to British Parliament with the stipulation it must be used for a national cosmetic dental plan.
~ Buy Jack Nicholson a decent script. (see About Schmidt)
~ Buy the Vatican and turn it into a sexual therapy clinic.
~ Pay Ozzy Osbourne to go back on drugs and alcohol so he can make some decent music again.
~ Buy up every copy of Magnolia so no one will ever have to be subjected to that movie again.
~ Better yet, buy up every copy of every Tom Cruise movie so no one will have to be subjected to him again.
~ Pay Larry King to just die already.
~ Buy out the four major television networks and broadcast nothing but spanish-language game shows from Telemundo or Univision all day.
Imagine the possibilities....
Listening To: ABC - Be Near Me