Friday, June 25, 2004

Mommy Dearest

My mother is insane!!! No really, like certifiable, lock her up, padded cell, make sure she has something to bite on, insane! You don't believe me, right? I have proof...These are snippits from the convo just had with Mommy Dearest...

Crazy Mother: ther you go insulting me again
gruvewthme: lol I love you mommy dearest
Crazy Mother: will you ever forget the mommy dearest
gruvewthme: no
Crazy Mother: i am sorry that i do not allow wire hangers jim liked wire to tell i found them now he no why he should not have them try to hide them from the master
gruvewthme: are you speaking the english
gruvewthme: what the hell did you just say
gruvewthme: me no understandee da mommy speak
Crazy Mother: i am the queen of my domain do not cross over
Crazy Mother: i am totally brain dead it is a good thing that i only have school for 4 hour 3 nights a week
Crazy Mother: you need learn english language

gruvewthme: did you read what you just typed up was no likey wire jim likey stuff and things and bleh me likey
gruvewthme: lol
Crazy Mother: this is a great way from me to get faster at my typing skills dont you think
gruvewthme: oh yeah....speedy indeedy
gruvewthme: now if we could fix your language skills
gruvewthme: lol
Crazy Mother: sorry lost my pointer thing had to find it you crack me up
gruvewthme: lol your pointer that the technical term for a mouse mommy?
Crazy Mother: mouse?

Ok but maybe that isn't enough proof for you...take this one...
Crazy Mother: my front porch light went out while i was gone tonight now it is dark and i am scared
gruvewthme: do you need someone to hold you?
Crazy Mother: nop i need someone to change the light bulb
gruvewthme: that too

Still not convinced???
Crazy Mother: would you do my homework for me
gruvewthme: what are you 12
Crazy Mother: it is on the digestive system
gruvewthme: oh ok
Crazy Mother: i say i have a 18 year old mind carrying around a 49 year old body
gruvewthme: what age are your boobs then's my final attempt...
Crazy Mother: he has not gone pooh in a week so i have a feeling that his kidneys or bowel is not working
gruvewthme: gone pooh, mommy??
Crazy Mother: poop ok i was trying to be nice
gruvewthme: you don't wanna tell me about your animals big steaming wafting pile of crapola??
Crazy Mother: this could be serious for your brother
Crazy Mother: have a heart

gruvewthme: please don't refer to the dog as my brother
gruvewthme: that's just wrong on soooo many levels

Poop indeed...

28 | Mom of two girls (12 & 9) |
Wife | Sting Devotee | Neurotic |
Sarcastic | Pissed Off | Native Oregonian |
Salty | Sweet | Chewy Nougat Center |

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