I did stupid shit yet again on Sunday night...shocker, no? Not like monumental stupid shit, but I said some hurtful things, had my feet for dinner and went to bed feeling like an asshole. Why do I do this shit to myself? Why can't I just pretend to be normal and nice, even when I know it's a lie. Whyyyyyyyy? When I open my mouth, I have a tendency to insert feet...plural. Whatever, I can't go back and undo what I did or said, I just had to move on....so I went home.
Back to Eastern Oregon with Mr. Zed. Land of hicks, and watermelons, family and old friends and good times. I really really needed that kind of love again. I needed the genuine love that you can't buy over the internet, the kind of love that remains for all those years, even when you fuck shit up and eat your feet sometimes. The kind of love that allows you to just be stupid and know that's ok...the kind of love that reminds you that love is all you need *cue Lennon*...With a little help from my friends, and all that jazz.
I got back tonight feeling rejuvenated and happy and ready to just move forward. I think I'm finally outta this slump that I've been in for a long time. I'm finally ready to just move up instead of sideways, or backways or slantways...or however the fuck I've been moving for the past year.
Yes, this was an eye opening trip.
Listening To: Snoop Dogg - Dogg Named Snoop