Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Fuck you....and you.

Let me preface this by saying that

1. I have a headache.
2. I have raging PMS.

That being said....I am a sensitive person. I think I volley between being over-sensitive and just sensitive. I feel with everything I have. I love and hate with equal passion. And when somebody hurts me, I hurt with the same intensity.
I had a confrontation of sorts with two seperate people last night....both of which I am still reeling over today. Harsh things were said to me, and it got me thinking that maybe these people are right. I make a fool of myself on a regular basis...I allow people into my life and I allow them to hurt me.
I'm beginning to realize that I let my self worth rely too heavily on what other people think of me. I find ways to escape contanstly so I won't have to look at the real me in the mirror. Be it through alcohol, or sex, or my sarcasm....I don't like to face the problems that I know are living inside me on a daily basis.
I have got to stop allowing people to affect my view of myself...words are just words...and the people who are really close to me...the people that I can really call my friends, know and love me for who I am.
If you don't like ME, you can go fuck yourself with a cactus strap-on. I'm not going to alter myself for people anymore. Take me or leave me...thank you for playing, please drive through.

Listening To: After 7 - Heat Of The Moment

28 | Mom of two girls (12 & 9) |
Wife | Sting Devotee | Neurotic |
Sarcastic | Pissed Off | Native Oregonian |
Salty | Sweet | Chewy Nougat Center |

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