Holidays with my family are always an interesting turn of events. It usually consists of my father, my aunt, my uncle, my cousin and his psycho fiance, and Big Gay Tommy and his special friend. Someone always gets super drunk, someone always get's their feelings hurt, someone always winds up pouting off in a corner, two of us always have a fight and inevitebly, Big Gay Tommy will wind up in a pile of shit out in the front yard.
This year was no different, except I can't regale you with tales of the gay Tommy...he didn't wanna drive over. This year was the first fourth in a long time when I remained completely sober throughout, and I really a got a full dose of your-family-is-fucked-up reality. We make the Griswalds look like the Waltons. My aunt drank two huge bottles of vino, and started celebrating the fireworks before we even started setting them off. Wooping and YAYing the explosions about three hours too early.
My dad was the grump, per usual. And eventually dug into the vino himself, and I haven't seen him drink in about six years.
My uncle was the guy with the big slutty asian girlfriend...and drank about 238943729 Coors in the fraction of an hour. This made for an interesting conversation about Las Vegas and the card game called Gay. His asian girlfriend did make the worlds best eggrolls though, so we accepted her into the warped clan we call family.
My cousin the elusive 18 year old high school drop out and his equally retarded fiance came and as usual he ended up having a big ol fight with his dad, and spending the remainder of the night in the living room watching ESPN and pouting, while Porche, his woman, tried to make nice-nice with me. Blah.
Aside from getting stuck in traffic coming home at 11:30 at night, it was a typical holiday with my fam...now I just gotta start the countdown to my birthday...August 20th for those of you keeping track.
I also wanted to remind all you lurkers here to leave me comments!!! Do it!!! How else can I show you lots of mushy, squishy love if you don't let me know who you are!!! While your at it, take a looky-loo at my blogroll and visit some of the bloggy goodness I visit daily...I do like to spread the love. Now click the comments link and love me back.
Listening To: Silk - Check Your Friend
2 Comments:
My grandmother adopted a Vietnamese girl named Joanne when she was 15. She took care of her up until she was 18 and was free to go explore the world on her own as a coke slut. She never said that's what she wanted to be, but she never said she wanted to be a fireman either, so I guess she never lied to us. We would all try to coax her away from the drugs. Mainly we wanted her away from them so she could come over and make us her famous homemade crab rangoons. Hey, she makes her own choices in life I say. If I choose to try and squeeze some crab rangoons out of her then that's my business too.
By the way I think no ones posting comments because the blogger comment module is slow and often unresponsive. I almost bailed, but it finally worked on the fifth try. If I were you I would switch to something else.
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Anonymous, at July 6, 2004 at 10:55 AM
That was me by the way. That's another problem. It forces you to post anonymously unless you have an account. Asking for information in an account sign up ploy scares potential posters away. I like your writing though.
ChumBucket
http://5hadow.tblog.com
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Anonymous, at July 6, 2004 at 10:59 AM
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