I was just taking the trash out and saw one of my neighbors riding her bike....pulling her teeny tiny little Chihuahua behind her. The poor little doggy had his tongue waggin and was huffing and puffing like R. Kelly at a girl scout camp. What the hell was she doing? Did she not notice that her dog's poor little legs were like two inches long, and while she coasts her tub of lard ass along on her very over-worked bike...her little chihuahua was having a stroke.
I should have run out there and called her on it. I'm regretting it now...but I don't like to make waves in here, and if I "accidentally" threw garbage at her she'd probably go running to the office to squeel. I'm already at odds with Mr. Office Manager, and he scares me a little...he's a four ton Samoan who owns two pitbulls. I feel I've made the right decision here. I don't want to find myself cornered by dogs that could eat my face, or find myself thrown off a balcony like Tony Rocky Horror.
Someone should drag her ass along on a leash, and make her run a couple miles. Hell, it would probably be alot more effective than that bike, which is obviously not doing it's job. I'm just sayin'.
Ok, I've got all my work done for now, so I'm going to go sit and watch really bad daytime tv for half an hour before I pick up the child from school. You want my life, admit it.
Red Rider - Lunatic Fringe