Thursday, February 01, 2007

I Now Pronounce You Foamed

What the hell is this all about? Seriously, what are these people thinking?

I just saw a story in this local newspaper about this wedding party that held a Foam Reception. Uhhhhhh. I've never even heard of these things until today. What the hell is this, and have you ever heard of such a vile idea?

Maybe it's just me, but this seems a lot on the gross side. Wallowing around in a bunch of greasy suds with strangers...ew. I don't like taking bubble baths with intoxicated weirdo's. And imagine where this stuff gets....your clothes, your eyes, not to mention all your holiest of holy's. It seems a bit dangerous..., do people wear any kind of protective gear to these things...shower caps? I know if I were an attendee I'd need to coat my ass in Charmin, cuz aint no way I'd be able to stand in that shit. Especially if you're adding alcohol to the mix. Would you need to shower before going to the reception? If the reception is all about getting Zestfully clean, do people really need to clean themselves up beforehand? What about communicable diseases? STD's? UTI's? VD? Surely Disease Control would need to be present. And is it like the public pool...don't stand in the warm spot? Do people just relieve themselves in the stuff? And what about the areas not covered in foam, do they put down some kind of non slip surface or do people just wander around all sudsy and dripping so the people that following them slip and fall and break their ass...And what if someone grabs my ass under all the foam, how would I know who to kick in the balls? And what about the smokers? How do you nix your jones in all that foam?

Needless to say I would not be RSVPing to this reception. Have a happy life, do your thing, but don't expect me to soak in it.

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