Sunday, January 14, 2007

Football is Gay

Yes it is. You can't convince me otherwise. I have evidence to back me up.

1. Tight spandex pants. No woman loving man would be caught dead in spandex.

2. Phrases like Tight End. Wide Receiver. Back End in Motion. and GAY.

3. Announcers who say things like "He really put the moooooves on that guy!"

4. When they make a touchdown...they do a little dance. Flaming. Gay.

5. Before they do their little happy dance....they prancy prance their way into the endzone on their tip toes. Yes, they do.

6. And while we're talking about it. They "rush their ball into the endzone". In other words they gay their gay right into the big ol' gayzone.

7. Guys are actually more interested in the game than the cheerleaders.

8. The guy who invented Football...his name is Nancy McFancypants. Really. Look it up.

9. The Packers. 'Nuff said.

10. Tackling.

Football is the gayest sport to ever gay the gay. And it makes no sense. And it takes eight years to play one game. And it smells funny. And if I have to sit through one more god damn minute of inflated turd that is football, I swear to cheese, I will go on a Grand Theft Auto type rampage..


Sidenote: I love the gay. Just wanted to put that out there, cuz now I'm paranoid that people are gonna think I'm some big anti-gay freak, so don't send me comments or blast off emails telling me how I'm going to hell for using the word "gay" as an adjective to describe fuckball. I already have my room reserved for that thing I did in high school with condoms, shaving cream and the prom queen.

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