Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Aunt Flow from Red China

Cuz I know your dying for an update (bite me)...I'm officially out of the PMS stage! So yay for you, I may not rip your colon out through your skull cave now...But Auntie Flow knocked on my door tonight. And she brought along her kids, Asshole and Bitchbreath, along with Uncle Crankypants, and Cousin Insomnia. Nothing like a good ol family reunion to get the hormones a'flowin.
Lots of fun has been had with good ol Flow. We consumed about 4.8 pounds of chocolate in the form of chocolate syrup and ice cream...sold seperately. Which I can already feel adding it's weight in gold to my hips. Why is it that a 4.8 pound chocolate stash will add 10.3 pounds onto my ass?? Thanks, Eve for that one, ya gluttonous bitch.
We have also tested the effectiveness of Tampax. I've determined that if my apartment ever floods, I can save the entire complex with a box of Tampax Super and a life-vest made of bitch. So good times there.
I'm off now to play Madden 2004 on the PS2 and remind myself why I hate football....meanwhile, my doth spin.

Listening To: Ludacris ft/ a buncha whiney waste of space whores - What's Your Fantasy

28 | Mom of two girls (12 & 9) |
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Sarcastic | Pissed Off | Native Oregonian |
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