Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Driving Ms. Crazy

So, I'm going to the store on a Diet Coke run and I'm driving the speed limit of course, cuz the road out of my apartment complex is a major speed trap...there's like a 5-0 on every corner just hungry to meet their asshole quota. So, I'm driving along at 35, and I see in my rearview, an older camaro, bright as fuck blue, come speeding up on my tail at like I'm thinking what a stupidass, and sure enough the owner get's pulled over...I see all this in my rearview. I go on my merry way, knowing in my own road rage satisfaction that the camaro driver deserved it for driving at the speed of hell through a well known speed trap.
I get my Diet Coke and on my way home I notice that the Camaro is still pulled over on the side of the road, only now there are like four patrol cars and one motorcycle copper surrounding it. So me, being my normal self, pull into the gas station across the street, so I can snoop, and get some gas...or something. I swear to almighty cheese, I almost peed myself a little when I got outta my car. The driver of the speedy indeedy camaro was a ELDERLY woman. She had to be at least...oh, let's say the age of Earth. This woman babysat Yoda for craps sake. But that's not the best part, this woman was wearing leather pants...LEATHER PANTS!!! OH OH OH! And she had fouler language than I do!!! You could hear her saying things like....You fucking cops are always stopping me!! and...I'm not a fucking old broad who won't kick your asses!!! I shit you not...the woman had to be senile. Maybe there is a new gang in my neighborhood...The Coots. Perhaps there is a whole group of these leather clad fiesty old bats just waiting for someone to make their day. Maybe instead of carrying gats and AK's, they carry rolling pins and a hefty dose of Coumadin laced with Nitro. One never knows in a city such as this one.
But, I so wished I had my camera for that one...The leather granny cussing the cops out. I friggin love my 'hood.

Listening To: Atlanta Rhythm Section - So Into You (shaddup)

28 | Mom of two girls (12 & 9) |
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Sarcastic | Pissed Off | Native Oregonian |
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