Saturday, March 24, 2007
Portland has a long list of things we can be proud of...
We have the worlds smallest park at a whopping 24 inches.
We have the largest natural urban forest reserve in the US.
We have the worlds largest independant bookstore, with the only 3 door elevator west of the Mississippi.
We don't have to pump our own gas...in fact it's illegal.
And we don't have sales tax.
I could go on...
Ok, I said it was a list of things WE could be proud of.
My wonderful city has a ton of nickames and if you're not from this area you're likely to get confused because people rarely call Portland "Portland"...we like to call it things like The Rose City, The City of Bridges, Rip City, Rivercity, or Stumptown. We are an eccentric bunch.
And now we have one more to add to the list...Beer Town.
This was just reported on our local news:
"Portland, already known as the City of Roses, will now be known as the city of beer.
Mayor Tom Potter will officially declare Portland "Beertown," where he will serve as honorary mayor. To kick off the city's new title, the mayor will pour the first ceremonial pint of Beertown Brown, the new seasonal debut from BridgePort Brewing Co.
Portland is known all over the world as "Beervana," largely due to the 28 breweries operating within city limits, more than any other city in the world. This title does not include the eight breweries that operate in the surrounding metro area.There are three more breweries scheduled to open in 2007, making Portland the largest craft brewing market in the country."
28 breweries...more than any other city in the world. Eat that.
It could have been worse...they could have declared us Methtown.
Sister Hazel - All For You
Retro Weekend #1
So, I've decided that because I have an asscart full of video's on my computer I may as well share some of them with people who might care...or don't whatever. Either way, it makes me feel like I'm doing something with them. I let the hubs pick the video for this weekend and he picked this movie trailer:
Was there any other girl out there who totally felt ripped off by the cool boy toys as opposed to the stupid ass girl shit that was out there. Who wants to drive Barbie around in a convertable, when you can shoot the enemy or drop a mase on some bad guy while playing with He-Man toys.
Maybe that was just me.
Mike Reno & Ann Wilson - Almost Paradise
Friday, March 23, 2007
Things You'll Never Hear Me Say
1. "Please pass the ketchup."
2. "Hello? Macintosh technical support?"
3. "Absolutely, I'd love a root canal! But only if a pap smear is unavailable!"
4. "WOO HOO! Enya tickets are on sale!"
5. "I'd like the big bag of pork rinds, please."
6. "Eh, who wants to look like Angelina Jolie, anyway?."
7. "YAY! The Speed Channel!"
8. "I sure hope Jeb Bush decides to run in 2008!"
9. "Britney Spears is just a misunderstood artist."
10. "Andrew Dice Clay is SOOO funny!"
11. "MmmmmMMMMM...how I do love me some rabbit."
12. "A Threesome? This IS a Happy Birthday!"
13. "Yup. Their Fake."
15. "Does this make my ass look big?"
Well that was fun....Back to work
Cliff Richard - Devil Woman
Thursday, March 22, 2007
I am so bored. I have just been staring at this computer screen zoning out for the last 45 minutes. I would think myself in a semi comotosed state if it weren't for the fact that I can still type 80 words a minute and eat Skittles like my life depended on it. I'm thinking if I were actually comatosed, I wouldn't be able to perform such duties....
Perhaps I should step away from the monitor for a bit. Providing I haven't starting sprouting roots.
You know you're officially bored when you get excited at the prospect of doing dishes.
Oh! I know, I'll post that A-Ha video people wanted to see...
Who was that lead singer dude, he was kind of hot in a weird geeky Norweigian Wood kind of way.
Led Zepplin - Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You
Monday, March 19, 2007
Today is March 19th?
Holy crapola...March is almost over...lets put things in neat nifty listy format, mmmk?
I seriously can not believe this is the 19th of March. The last month is a blur. GAH. I have so much to catch up on. I would pay someone to take half of my to-do list. I think it has a pulse.
- Car stolen
- Migraine for 13 out of the last 19 days. Yes, seriously. That would explain the lack of posting, and my $2000 in medical bills I've racked up with all the shitty tests performed on me by the hospital.
- My internet decides to disappear for four days.
- I almost cut my finger off.
- Highly...no really, HIGHLY medicated due to migraines.
- Discussions of possibly moving to a new STATE. Holy shit.
- My dog has fleas.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I Think I Hate Her Now
I was just taking the trash out and saw one of my neighbors riding her bike....pulling her teeny tiny little Chihuahua behind her. The poor little doggy had his tongue waggin and was huffing and puffing like R. Kelly at a girl scout camp. What the hell was she doing? Did she not notice that her dog's poor little legs were like two inches long, and while she coasts her tub of lard ass along on her very over-worked bike...her little chihuahua was having a stroke.
I should have run out there and called her on it. I'm regretting it now...but I don't like to make waves in here, and if I "accidentally" threw garbage at her she'd probably go running to the office to squeel. I'm already at odds with Mr. Office Manager, and he scares me a little...he's a four ton Samoan who owns two pitbulls. I feel I've made the right decision here. I don't want to find myself cornered by dogs that could eat my face, or find myself thrown off a balcony like Tony Rocky Horror.
Someone should drag her ass along on a leash, and make her run a couple miles. Hell, it would probably be alot more effective than that bike, which is obviously not doing it's job. I'm just sayin'.
Ok, I've got all my work done for now, so I'm going to go sit and watch really bad daytime tv for half an hour before I pick up the child from school. You want my life, admit it.
Red Rider - Lunatic Fringe
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Dear Movin 107.5 Radio People,
I tried to give you a chance. I did! A real, honest to goodness chance. Even though you made my most beloved Mix 107.5 vanish into thin air one night while I was sleeping. I was trying to be the bigger person here...forgive and forget and all that. But now?
You are all bitches. I hate you. You mess with my head by playing snippets of songs I LIKE in your station bumpers, so I keep listening thinking you won't play schlock for a change...and you never, ever play anything good. You are full of Gnarls Barkely, and Britney Skankyho, and Outkast. I don't LIKE any of those people. I heard you play Technotronic once, but I think it may have been an accident on your part.
Perhaps you didn't realize that you used to be an all 80's station? You were wonderful back in the day...all 80's all the time. And you had a huge market share. People liked you! They really really liked you! Then you fucked up by turning it into an all "rock" 80's station...people didn't buy it. And yanno why? Cuz REM isn't rock. And neither is Fleetwood Mac or Kansas. But I tried to defend you, by saying you were in the middle of something at home and you'd come back to us...as your old self again. People just needed to give you time.
Now you've turned me into a big fat hairy liar. I hate you.
So, I just wanted to let you know, you suck. You suck big moldy monkey shit. Give me back my Mix 107.5. I need my Thompson Twins, and Kim Wilde....your can keep your "music that makes you move"...the only thing it makes me want to move is my bowels.
With all my hatred,
The winner of the video deal from my last post was the A-Ha video...I'll post that on Saturday. More people need to vote. Like Ryan Seacrest says, if you don't vote, you can't win. Or something like that.
Cypress Hill - A To The K
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Cheesiest Vid of the Week #1
I have...lemme count...approximately three gig's worth of music video's/tv commercials, series openers...mostly from the 80's on here. I hate Youtube with the fire of a thousand Satanic footstools, so I'm not using it any more. They are a bunch of hypocritrical assholes. Instead, I'v decided to upload them to my own server and keep them up for a week...five days, whatever. Then I'll make a list on my sidebar and if you should want one of the vids I've shown, just email me and I'll send it to ya. Youtube is satan. Really. And I love you guys and would share in a heartbeat, unlike Youtube, who hates anything not made my emo kids in their basement.
Anyway, I'm gonna do this on the weekend when nobody does anything on the blogosphere, and it'll give me a chance to gloat about my insane music collection...seeee we both win. So the first vid is:
Tears For Fears - Woman In Chains. One of My favorite songs.
We can start a game...name a video and if I have it, It'll be choosen for next week. Chances are I have it...I have like I said almost 3 gigs and the hubs has almost 1 gig of music vids saves on here. I also have about a billion tv bumpers, commercials, PSA's etc. Lemme know what you want to see, and I'll play it. In fact I'll make a list and you choose what you want to see next weekend, the winner will get played in the next couple days, we totally need some more 80's up on this here blog, here are your choises, leave your vote in the comments:
-----------------Music Videos------------------Dannii Minogue - Don't Wanna Lose This Groove
(You love Danii so much you wanna hear her again.)
Aqua - Lollipop
-(Very silly song and video)
A-HA - Take On Me Alternative Version - (Filmed in
1. Underoo's Underwear from about 1984 - (Not something they could EVER get away with now)
2. McDonalds First Day of High School commercial, filmed about 1987ish - ( Fun with High School)
3. Commercial for the "new" Colgate Pump...very cool...heh (cool dancing for 1985)
1. The EALY opening for Baywatch...starring Pamela Lee, Yesmine Bleeth, David Chokochi, Gena Lee Nolin, Donna D'Errico and Traci Bignham (All the yumminess...You know you wana)
2. The intro for Garfield and Friends circa about 1989. (I couldn't have been the only one who enjoyed "the friends " part more than Garfiend)
3. Knightrider Intro. (C'mon, it's Kitt!)
1. The Tron Movie Trailer 1982 - (Ooooooooh special effects!)
2. Back To The Future Part 2 1989 (It's Back In Time, dude)
3. National Lampoons Vacation 1983 (It's got Christy Brinkley...don't you love that?!)
Anwho, enjoy! And Vote, damnit...leave your anwers in the comments. And don't be shy...even you BE'ers or total newbies can make a vote. I don't bite, I swear. Feel free to vote for one from each catagory or just one period....I'll post the winners in a couple days.
Soul Asylum - Misery
What do you get when you play a country song backwards?
Since her phone hates me and wouldn't let me call through even thought I pushed *82, I just went into the kitchen to get started on my daily load of dishes, and I made the mistake of doing it first thing, like before coffee, first thing...so anyway, I went to turn on the radio, like I do, and my daughter had left it on the country station.
There was some shitty sappy song on there about some dude feeling sorry for this little girl because her parents never took her to church and now she doesn't know where her mommy is or some shit like that. That's why I hate country music. The majority of it is all sad, and depressing and makes me wanna slit my wrists. Much like Jewell. Or REM. Especially first thing in the morning...I need something to kickstart my day, not make me have a Kathie Lee breakdown. Geeeeezus.
The child is so grounded from my radio.
The title is a really bad joke...ready? Ok, what do you get when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back and your truck back and your dog back.....
What did you expect? I told you it was bad.
Karyn White - Secret Rendevous
My Technical Medical-y Shit Post
I spent all of last night in the hospital. Don't you envy me. I hve these things called Hemiplegic Migraine's...which bascially means I see spots and have blurry vision for a day or two leading up to paralysis on the right side of my body. Scary as shit. When I got my first one, it was in December and they thought I was having a stroke. Ambulance came took me away, hospital ran every brain test you can think of (MRI, CAT, that dye test to make sure there are no clots) anyway, they're briliant conclusion was these migraines. Ugh.
I'm ALWAYS had migraines, I've always taken Imitrex for them, and then that med wasn't working anymore. Fine I figured I would just going to have to deal with them as they came. HAH!
Now, because of the paralysizing migraines, they can't prescribe me ANY of the normal migraine meds because of the stroke effects that come along with them. So my only option is when I get one, I've gotta go to the hospital and get a shot of Dilaudid...which is basically a synthetic Herion and Morphine combo. Oh yes, people. I get the shot of Heroin once a month...and legally. Which I find terrifying...Huuuullloooo it's herion. So the doc last night was going to admit me and do a bunch of tests last night, and I told him I couldn't because I have two installs to do today. Yeah, my life or my work...My priorities have always been a bit messed up.
So anyway, I sit here now in excruciating migraine pain, seeing double, and scared to shit to take the pills he gave me because again....
I've never had these things before (the migraines yes....these paralyzing shit, no) and if for all eternity I have to go to the hospital once a month for a my daily dose of Herion...I see an Anna Nicole in my futue...not the death part but the "If this man ever records myyyyyyyyyyyyy record" MTV awards Anna. At least they didn't give me methadone.
The seeing double should really help with thos installs today.
My head hurts. I'm getting away from this box....that and it's not even 6 AM and I'm blogging...I must be sick.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
You Know Who Scares Me?
People with full body tattoos...the sleeves and face/head all over "I wanna be a lizard boy" tattoo's. Why? Why would you do that to yourself? I just saw a guy with every part of himself, that I could see tattoo'd, and I think I peed a little. I understand tat's, I have one...hell, I want another one. But the all over body tat's? I will never understand that one. What happens if and when you get out of your "I wanna piss people off" stage, and decide you wanna become...say...a stockbroker, or lawyer, or anything not dealing with a ferris wheel. Then what do you do? It's not like you can just go around with a bag over your head and a nun's habit on...well I spose you could, but that would make you a different flavor of freak.
Not that I think those people are freaks...they are just...freakish. You know what I'm sayin. My tat is on my ankle, I can hide it, and nobody even knows I have one, unless I tell them, or I show them. It's my choice, and if I ever became like, President, nobody would hold that against me. When I'm old and in the nursing home, no little old ladies will point and laugh at me for being the Tattoo'd Old Bat in room 297. They'll have other things to point and laugh at me for.
Also, the titanium implants thingies...what the fuck?
And now that I'm looking around the Wiki....ummmm seriously, how crackish do ya gotta be (totally not safe for work and or kids)?
Ok, no more Wiki searching, I have to go back to work now...
Joe Satriani - One Big Rush